It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
