he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
