I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
