she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
