yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
