a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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