I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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