honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
