And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
