Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
