he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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