omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
