PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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