saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
