Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
