Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry hmmmblunt hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(212): View more from New York

Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.

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(386): View more from Florida

being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

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(317): View more from Indiana

You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco

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(850): View more from Florida

Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me

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(302): View more from Delaware

The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.

(1-337): View more from Louisiana

So date night went well?

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(216): View more from Ohio

welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.

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