just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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