If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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