He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
