My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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