put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
