well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
