I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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