so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
