whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize