Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize