seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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