I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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