i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
