He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
