guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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