she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize