if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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