He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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