i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize