so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
