i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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