She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
