I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
