I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he wants to bone in the snuggie
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
