would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
