Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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