ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
