so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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