im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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