I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
