im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
