Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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