so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
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Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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