so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
