I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
