I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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