he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
