I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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