You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish I could teleport
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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