omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
