I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize