You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
