She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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