Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
