Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
